I don’t know how or why.
The thing is, I never liked autumn. I actually dreaded it my entire life. I always thought of it as the season of death and cold. I profoundly dislike the cold, because I feel so very uncomfortable wearing a lot of clothes and heavy clothing in general. In autumn leaves fall off, trees die, birds leave. Basically, life perishes, along with my will to do things, be productive, live… Plus, it rains a lot and boy, do I hate rain! (Unless I don’t have to go out and I can stay in bed with a movie/book/magazine/boyfriend and a cup of something hot.)
But this year something is different. The way I perceive autumn and all the changes that come with it has totally shifted. I see so much beauty around me everytime I go out! I see a riot of colour. Who knew there were so many shades of yellow?! It’s like this is the first time in my life I’m actually looking. Even though leaves are falling off, I enjoy watching them pirouette down invisible spirals of breeze, spinning through the air so gracefully it almost feels like they’re dancing, then hitting the ground, covering it with a quilt of colour. The smoldering, ember-red ones are my favorites. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful shade of nature. Of course, it’s still cold and it still rains, but not all the time. And when it doesn’t, when the sky is clear and the sun is mild and golden, it almost feels like magic.
This year autumn is making me happy and I can’t quite put my finger on the reason behind it. Maybe it’s because I’m in a good place in my life and at peace with myself; or maybe it’s because I’ve learned to accept the things I can’t change and to enjoy life as it is – with ups and downs, with smiling and hurting, with thriving and failing. Because we learn as long as we live, from everything. Let it all happen to you – beauty and terror. Every experience matters and no feeling is final. We are constantly growing and we are constantly changing – just like the seasons.